Watching a friend go mad, shrinking away from imaginary phantoms, being an imaginary phantom myself.

I think I tend to say I don't understand the things I understand best, funny little things around the edges, central incomprehensible springs.

Sweetie, if you ever get around to reading this from one blind or another, you're smarter than this, we both know it, I think. You've got some things to figure out, it'll be hard, but I'm sure you can do it. I think it's important that you get clearer on which of your own reactions are trustworthy, since you no longer trust me or my judgment about that, I guess you're on your own barring you coming to trust another sensible person, probably unlikely, but might be a good idea to try. Maybe some sort of professionalized context would make it easier for you?

Pile driving has recommenced. Recharging my camera batteries.