Deciding I wasn't going to make the time to comb the little used bookstores for it, broke down & ordered a copy of Either/Or, should arrive in the new year.

So what's it going to be, the esthetic or the moral life? Thinking about people who are never presented with choices such as these, for whom choice as such is the haziest of entities.

Have spent a good deal of time mulling over & elaborating systematic defenses of human choice, probably would've been better spent trying to shore up the material conditions of possibility of those, though maybe not- my overall impression is, that's hopeless.

Showering, thinking about madness, terrifying, inexorable, ridiculous. Have a funny sort of perspective on that, with it overrunning large areas of my mental function so frequently but leaving personality and judgement more or less intact apart from the inevitable slow erosion & shaping, see the funhouse effects for exactly what they are, pretty much, still pretty disconcerting.