Went & got coffee, cheese for macaroni bake (last minute change to appenzeller), fancy scotch, cheap cooking sherry, donuts. Exhaustion has been leading to some nice quasi-mystical states, pushing that along with donuts & coffee. Given how worried I've been the past little while, I figure the more time I spend in dissociated, ecstatic states the better.

Thinking of putting Big E on hold till next week, think I'm just too tired to really enjoy it much.