Feeling very sedate, if not sedated.

Went out for some Chinese noodle's & Dirty Bill's karaoke.

Looking forward to brief island holiday. Love those.

Home again, collapsed in a heap. Self-consciousness taken to its logical conclusion.

Ah, the wife's home.

Was just, rather than doing work, reading a trite web article about the decline of villainy in popular media. Wasn't that interesting, basically in favor of unexplained harsh viciousness, not getting any argument from me about that. Did find some of the comments in favor of subtler, psychologized villains sort of thought-provoking, if misguided. Like so much else associated with realism, these sort of preferences tend to distract from how things actually are, people being, after all, mostly stereotypes, the subtle reader seeking subtle characters being one such.

Plausible explanations, verisimilitude, etc., etc.

I say it's spinach & I say the hell with it. Beats working.

Amusingly technical problems to deal with this morning, a welcome change.

Pay dispute with workplace more or less sorted out, fact that I can anticipate other such disputes makes me wish I had a different workplace.

Made arrangements to get car sorted out, that will occur while I am away playing on the Vineyard.

So, slowly sorting things out, could use a more efficient sort algorithm.

Going to head out to lovely fish 'n' chip shop for lunch with our web developer in a bit.

Had a pretty nice evening, made bacon cheeseburgers, Roma came by & had one, watched more Olympics, etc., etc.

Not feeling much like going to work.

Out my window, squealing tires. Really need to do something about my car.

Pickles's enthusiastic nesting just knocked my laptop out of my hands.

Went & got a burrito, mood slightly improved.

Lovely outside, stupid & tiresome in.

La la la, la, la la, la la.

Finally fell asleep. Woke up feeling cold, Olympic gymnast being interviewed on the TV, constant stupid leading questions designed to satisfy a prefabricated narrative, what else is new?

People want to make everybody else players in their story. It's a drag.

Long pause, sipping coffee.

Wish I could make it stop.

In an unpleasant panic state, would like to be asleep, am going to go have a cigarette, then curl up & shake for a while.

Crap.

Was going to make burgers, ended up going out for soup & salad, burgers tomorrow.

Very sleepy, bats squeaking outside making me nervous, watching Olympics.

Nice cool breeze, soon, fall.

Got so sleepy at work, decided it would be safer to drive home before I got any sleepier.

No sign of bats.

Bat invasion continued through the night, didn't sleep very well, feeling a bit ragged & on edge, disposed of two bat cadavers in the morning, one of which L. bagged with Pickles in the night, the other killed by Peretz/Pickles tag team in my room as I was getting ready to leave for work.

Wish those bats were smart enough to just steer clear.

Drinking some coffee at my icy desk, feeling icy & distant.

A variety of things, not just bats, colluding to stress me out, ongoing pay dispute at work, ongoing ridiculous hostile(?) monitoring (honestly, what's the point?), worrying about paying for car repairs, etc., etc.

Could use a snack.

Just back from celebration of little Magdalena's 2nd birthday. Good times.

Apart from the bat hiding behind my bookcase, anyway.

Turned on godawful classic rock radio morning show in an attempt to get "You're Gonna Miss Me" out of my head, didn't really work until they played "Bad Company".

Going to be a sleepy day at work. Fingers hurt from yesterday's potatoing.

Going to check through the weekend's spam now.

Got a ride from Neil to noise show at the Elevens, pretty nice music & several people seemed genuinely happy to see me. Learned that favorite fish 'n' chip shop is now only open Thursday-Saturday, drag, but at least it's still open.

Spent most of the show being too sleepy, finally had the bright idea of getting a coke, perked me up a bit, but not really enough.

On the ride home, talked with Neil about movies, he wishes he could open a theater, like most simple dreams involving bringing joy to others, probably unfulfillable.

Took a nap, returned call to my cousin Bess who had called while I was chopping potatoes to discuss accommodation options. Lower back hurts a bit from too long at too low counter. Should really walk Peretz.

Just back from four hours of doing my best impression of a potato chopping machine.

Peretz is licking my elbow, doubtless delightfully starchy.

Trying very hard to be awake enough to go do food prep. It's a challenge.

Peretz is looking out the window, should take him for a walk.

Coffee, coffee.

Muscles hurt.

Stumbled my way downstairs, had a drink, a snack, let the dog out.

Sat on the back porch watching him sniff around, thinking about ecology as a game for the privileged, feeling old & tired.

Lovely moon tonight.

Went & hung with Neil & Faf, checked their artspace, walked to Wagon Wheel for sundaes, played a little frisbee.

Got home all tuckered out, L.'s gone to Northampton for karaoke & a show. A lot of energy, that one.

Made some spicy sausage & onion sandwiches with a side of broccoli raab, thinking about new soda flavors.

Should probably really ditch this IT crap & open a soda shop.

Sleepy again.

Pretty idyllic morning, went to the co-op for donuts, curried chicken salad, tomatoes & sourdough bread, then stood around the kitchen drinking coffee & snacking.

At work now, waiting for servers to finish rebooting & C.

Feeling better, remarkable how much fifteen or so hours of sleep can help.

Eating yogurt covered raisins & malted milk balls with my coffee.

Feeling tired blurred into feeling ill, dizzy, upset stomach, took a nap, woke up, still feeling woozy, had a ginger ale, watched some Olympics, pb & j on a sesame roll. Lying down again, feeling pretty wretched.

Busy weekend, work tomorrow, helping with harvest supper Sunday, hope I feel better.

So sleepy that on the drive home from picnic one of my eyes was watering.

Going to have a little quiet time now.

Last night, after L. finally got home, we went for nice dinner at the H & O, interesting peach infused bourbon drink on special, fries better than usual, people very nice as always.

After that, headed to Dirty Bill's for a little of their famous Thursday night karaoke, L. sang "Jesse's Girl", I did "Behind Blue Eyes", not half as creepy as I'd hoped. L. won a free drink ticket which I used to get a scotch & soda. Some lady sang an amazingly tone deaf rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings".

Stayed up far too late watching gymnastics, paying for that now.

Need to shower, take poor Peretz for his shot & go to work. Then, company picnic at Look.

'He a string of pearls gave to her,
Smooth and polished, pied and purple.
Round her snowy neck she placed them
With no thought of harm or cunning;
And with simple, maiden speeches
Filled the time as they sped onward.
To each pearl had Chi-co chanted,
Each had bathed in mystic water,
Each held fast the same weird power,
Till the time grew ripe for evil.
On the waves they could not harm her,
There the Sea-King ruled them ever;
But when on the shore she landed
They would work their evil mission.
On the shore of Ro-a-no-ak
Chi-co sent his boat with vigor.
Lithe and happy she sprang shoreward,
When,— from where her foot first lightly
Pressed the sand with human imprint,—
On— away— towards the thicket,
Sprang a White Doe, fleet and graceful.
His revenge thus wrought in safety,
Drifting seaward Chi-co chanted:
"Go, White Doe, hide in the forest,
Feed upon the sweet wild-grasses;
No winged arrow e'er shall harm you,
No Red Hunter e'er shall win you;
Roam forever, fleet and fearless,
Living free and yet in fetters."
O fair maiden! born and nurtured
Neath the shadow of disaster!
Isle of Fate was Ro-a-no-ak,
In the Land-of-Wind-and-Water.
Nevermore to fill with gladness
The sad heart of stricken mother;
Nevermore to hear the wooing
Of the brave and true O-kis-ko.
Gone thy charm of youthful beauty,
Gone thy sway o'er savage natures;
Doomed to flee before the hunter,
Doomed to roam the lonely island,
Doomed to bondage e'en in freedom.
Is the seal of doom eternal?
Hath the mussel-pearl all power?
Cannot love thy fetters loosen?'

Just sayin'.

Went & got Benadryl, kibble, tricked Peretz into eating tablet with a wad of cheese. Getting back to work.

Wishing I could just stay home all the time, it's very tranquil.

Working from home this morning, very pleasant, dogs seem happy. Plumbing afoot in the server room, trying not to sweat it.

Need to go get Benadryl for Peretz in preparation for lyme vax tomorrow morning. Poor Peretz!

Just had a refreshing glass of Virginia Dare Korker, it's what the hip kids are drinking, 'My Pretty Snow Deer' playing wistfully in the background.



Bit chilly in the deep, dark woods tonight. Like your cloak & hood, whatcha got in the basket?

Had some pizza, cream soda, num num num.

Feeling pretty shaky from last night's lack of sleep.

Dogs need walking.

Didn't get nearly enough sleep.

Becoming increasingly aggravated with my workplace, may be time to find a new workplace.

Ick.

Well, think that's probably my quota for arena rock for the year, not that I didn't enjoy myself.

Find people's love of being in crowds pretty mysterious. Don't mind moving through crowds, but standing around in them, ick.

Anyway, the wife & kid never tire of arena rock, so are off tomorrow to catch Radiohead at Corporate Sponsor Stadium somewhere deep in Eastern MA. For my part, I plan to eat pizza & laze about. You know, with a very powerful lazer. Zap, zap.

Peretz is making himself comfortable on my bed.

Was sitting at my desk feeling bleh, took a brief walk & got a couple hot dogs, now feeling groovy.

Wish I had a coffee, though.

Slept like a stone, could use more of that.

Looking forward to an exciting day filled to the brim with repetitive tasks and arguing with management over compensation.

After that, Wilco at Tanglewood.

Back from potluck, jumping kids were making downstairs neighbor testy, people seemed to enjoy my cake.

Cute kids.

When we got home, Pickles was running around with a two pound weight in his mouth.

Watching more Olympics, Os Mutantes song in a McDonald's commercial, etc.

Went home & let the dogs out, had some cold soup & a roll, perked up a bit.

Perk is steadily seeping out now I've returned to my desk.

Getting another lesson in how depression impairs empathy, because I really needed one, slow learner & all that.

Otherwise, usual Monday tedium, thanks for asking.

Going to sneak out & mail those invites.

Slept very poorly.

Fact is, worrying about people one cares about hurting themselves & being unable to do anything at all about it is a great big drag.

Back to work, back to work.

Decided peach bread pudding was too much trouble, mainly because I would have needed to go to the store for milk & bread, made a peach cake instead.

Once done with that & laundry, caught the tail end of Bring It On, always enjoyable.

Feeling vaguely distressed & out of sorts, wish it were just needing to return to work tomorrow, it's mostly that anyway.

Got some envelopes stuffed, then L. headed out to fetch the kid whose search for a ride had come up dry. She called from Athol to alert me of her return, kid having finally succeeded, those whacky kids!

We're sitting around watching Bond movie on TV, L.'s making lists & checking them twice, I'm trying to think of something to make for potluck tomorrow.

Maybe bread pudding? With peaches?

Went & had that brunch after all, hurrah!

Shared worrisome soda maker news with other concerned parties.

Water polo, water polo.

Should really do laundry.

Watching Olympics, rowing.

Sort of wanted to go have brunch.

Sigh.

Slept through church again.

Invites mostly finished, small thanks to lazy old me.

Trip to favorite source of quality local soda was a bit troubling, they were out of quart sized orange dry, learned on asking why that the proprietor had a heart attack a couple weeks ago. Guess he's back at soda bottling already, with a little extra help, but has some catch up work to do, heard him promise from upstairs that the orange dry would be back in stock next week, what a lovely man.

Anyway, they did have 5 of the 7 oz orange dry, so bought a case of the little bottles as well.

After that, we went & got sonhos, Portuguese rolls, banana cream pie, the makings of a Portuguese soup, etc., etc.

L. wanted to get a butterfly bush, but there was no room in the car (filled with not yet returned returnables). Drag.

About to start work on wedding reception FAQ.

Foggy drive home last night, a bit groggy this morning.

Show last night was of pretty high quality across the board, despite the heat, mustiness & crappy sound typical of that place. Wish we had better places for music, should probably get on it.

Shoulder seems to be recovering, wonder what I did to it.

Took a nice nap, then Wagon Wheel for supper, clam chowder, burger special, iced tea, pie & ice cream.

Going to Elevens shortly for 8/8/8 festivities.

Took some ibuprofen for shoulder.

Ludlow trip planned for tomorrow, soda/pie restock.

Right shoulder hurts, drinking coffee.

A little low thunder.

Still a bit shocked that I've allowed myself to grow a beard, growing lax.

Mind wanders down dark avenues, gets jumped, gets the shit kicked out of it. Should learn to steer clear of that bad neighborhood.

Very little I like better than a thunderstorm, one of the only things I miss about Tennessee, honestly.

Lots here lately, pretty nice.

Cool, rainy night. Made some spaghetti with garlic & vegetables, some romano cheese crisps.

A lot less tired than I was yesterday, enjoying being a layabout nonetheless.

Got that hearty lunch, since then it's been downhill, mostly.

Had to move a bunch of equipment, computers & parts again as part of the perpetual ongoing reorganization process, blech.

Another tornado touched down in the area, apparently.

Would like to be home, have some errands to run after I'm released from this place, double blech.

I love a hot dog cart.

Was feeling a bit like I was going to pass out, feel OK now, but kind of wish I'd gotten 2 hot dogs rather than one.

Maybe some chips, maybe some actual hearty lunch, hm.

Thinking about the blackberries behind the paper, Dante, lobsters, the night having a thousand eyes.

Having a hard time getting revved up for work.

Thinking about movie I watched last night, protagonist's stupid husband made my stomach hurt, lots of nice pies. Never been much for realist drama.

Getting some good work done on the phenomenology of boredom. Actually, the -ology bit is misleading, it's not actually structured, may be why I'm so fond of it.

Horizons, bracketing.

Quite the chatterbox this AM.

Stuff to do in Amherst, ugh.

On the bright side, provides an opportunity to restock on iced tea.

Funny, sleepy, funny.

Was playing with Cuil, way results are laid out makes my eyes hurt, done playing with Cuil.

Sleepy, edgy.

Just wrote something, then thought better of it. Then wrote something else & thought better of that too.

Love you folks, take care of yourselves if you're not, would you?

Harriet continues to want attention, Peretz continues to be a cat-sniffing, bug-eyed freak. All a bit trying in the early AM.

Cool & gray, low thunder.

Last night, went to a dinner party, it was pretty OK. Took a lot of pictures of a pie.

Waiting for coffee to penetrate the higher centers, feeling annoyed about work things.

Blah, blah, blah.

Watched The Golden Compass & The Bourne Ultimatum, in the midst of that, ate more of the tasty food I made earlier. Quite enjoyed both movies, the first was better than I expected, the second worse. Took me away from myself a bit, always nice.

Anyway, back to myself now, feeling aggravated with phoniness, stupidity, etc., etc. It gets old, feeling aggravated.

Tired, could use a hug, might even get one.

Musing on the various senses of the word 'proxy'. It's a lovely word, often a lovely thing, there's a certain security in stand-ins of all sorts.

(Smiles pleasantly.)

Back from fetching L. from work, hopefully minor car issue, went by BJs to look for movies, didn't find any, wandered aimlessly through the aisles for a bit, feeling repatriated after a long time abroad.

Then we went & got some farmstand tomatoes.

Ended up getting a bunch of pre-viewed movies from an actual video store, pretty excited to watch them.

Got very sweaty on railroad track dog walk, just showered, am now drying under fan, head hurts a bit. Likely the changing air pressure.

Lazy afternoon watching alien invasion TV show, grazing on lentils with bacon, carrot cake that L. & I made yesterday. Guess who made which.

Could use a few weeks of this sort of activity.

Took the day off.

Spent the morning hanging out with dogs, washing dishes, making noodle kugel, rosemary chicken fingers.

Then L. came home & we had a nice lunch.

Yesterday turned out pretty swell, very much enjoyed the Cheshire Fair, even rode some rides. Went & played more Singstar at the H & O after.

Efforts are being made to reinforce my negative attitude, how exciting.

Should probably walk the dog & go do work.

Sort of wanted to go take photographs of the Cheshire Fair this weekend, maybe I'll go do that later.

Feeling ill, glum & irrelevant.

Have to do some work tomorrow, don't feel like it, don't feel like doing anything much.

Should probably go to sleep, may watch cartoons instead.

Seems like the slight prying open of the screen I managed earlier has enabled bat trapped in window to escape. Makes me happy, like to help trapped creatures escape, if possible, even if I'm the one who trapped them, especially if, actually.

Ha ha ha, tra la la.

Should get cracking on that life of Kierkegaard musical.

Sometimes the words just pour out of me, others each needs to be pried out at great cost. As with most things, cost has nothing to do with worth.

One of those second sorts of times, it's frustrating.

Stomach still hurts.

Went & saw the new Mummy flick, even dumber than I expected. After that, went for more roast corn & beer, then to the market for a few things. While at the store, started having pretty nasty stomach cramps, don't think the corn's to blame, more likely the rock 'n' roll lifestyle.

Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Day's starting very slow, just got around to walking the pups, also just started pouring, hurray.

A bunch of things I'd like to get done, don't see myself getting to many of them.

Another bat is now trapped between the window & screen of the window at the top of the stairs, when I tried to remove it bit & screamed at me, may just leave it there to die.

Need to get cigarettes & groceries.

Wow, long day.

Traffic got heavier & heavier as we approached the Cape. After dropping the kid off at the ferry, we went & sampled a couple different Falmouth area beaches. Time flies. Got some fried seafood at Barnacle Bill's, discovered I no longer care much for smelts. Drove home through lighter, but still unpleasantly heavy traffic, extremely dark out, lots of glare. Stopped briefly at an excessively busy gas station by the Wrentham outlet mall to refuel.

Damn glad to finally get home, dogs were damn glad to see us.

Went upstairs to put on pajamas, found another dead bat.

Here's me last weekend, all singing, all dancing:



Sorry about that.

Was so slow getting up this morning that I didn't manage to walk the pup. Somebody please walk the pup?

A lot of thinking that would otherwise end up on here is now being done on my daily commute. Sufficiently elaborated thoughts resemble nothing so much as no thoughts at all.

Didn't sleep very well, at least for once the turmoil was wholly external.

At some point, I guess, another bat got in the house, was too sleepy to get involved, dogs weren't. Would be interesting to know where these bats are coming from.

Have an upset stomach.

A little more work, then the week is done. We're going to take the kid back to his island home, then go swimming after, I think.

Had nice fish 'n' chips at the place down the way, then went out to see some music, sold out, so we sat around outside the Bookmill chatting & snacking. Got home to find two dead bats at the top of the stairs. Dogs are very proud of themselves.

Weird tropical weather today, hot, muggy, sudden heavy downpours. At the show, Steve told me of driving his milk truck through the sunshower to end all sunshowers, fox's wedding, devil beating his wife & how.

Finding the blackberry bushes that have sprung up behind the paper very cheering.

Otherwise a pretty dull & dismal day.

Working for the weekend & c.

Showing people how to load sticker paper so printer won't jam, how not to kick their electrical cord out of socket, information professional!

Slept very poorly, suppose stuff like this is mostly what I'm fit for today.

Last night, another Brain Exchange, didn't stay too long, was just as glad to get home & try to sleep. Old man.

Thinking about how hemmed in many seem, it's hard to understand how they stand it.

"And so generally, the things which are agreeable to some are to others disagreeable, distasteful, and deadly. Thus, quails are fattened by hemlock, and pigs by henbane; and pigs also enjoy eating salamanders, just as deer enjoy poisonous creatures, and swallows gnats. So ants and wood lice, when swallowed by men, cause distress and gripings, whereas the bear, whenever she falls sick, cures herself by licking them up. The mere touch of an oak twig paralyses the viper, and that of a plane leaf the bat. The elephant flees from the ram, the lion from the cock, sea monsters from the crackle of bursting beans, and the tiger from the sound of a drum."

"Why cannot the Ear be closed to its own destruction?
Or the glist'ning Eye to the poison of a smile?
Why are Eyelids stor'd with arrows ready drawn,
Where a thousand fighting men in ambush lie?
Or an Eye of gifts & graces, show'ring fruits and coined gold?
Why a Tongue impress'd with honey from every wind?
Why an Ear a whirlpool fierce to draw creations in?
Why a Nostril wide inhaling terror, trembling & affright?"

Etc., etc.

Oh, dear me, such dull days.

Oh, bother.

Tried reading the Hypostasis of the Archons to see if it would perk me up, didn't work any better than the coffee I keep drinking.

Think whiskey & Sextus Empiricus might really be called for, I should probably stash some of both in my desk.

Peretz's cat-obsessed ways are beginning to wear thin.

Wondering if a time will come when I won't have cuts on my hands.

Want more sleep.

Wish I knew more German.

Another Tuesday, another night of John Hodgman, in a surprise turn, the man gave the Zune a ringing endorsement, pretty shocking and, dare I say, reckless for one in his position:



Mr. Hodgman also displayed an alarming ignorance of parasitology. Disappointing.

Slow day at work, should be a relief, is actually painfully boring.

Going to head home shortly, try to take in secret entertainment.

Took the kid for waffles, heard about his musical doings.

He's in town now, hanging with his local celebrity pal.

Me, I'm reading logs, hurrah!

Slept pretty well, things are looking up.

L. got back with S. pretty late, she seemed pretty exhausted, full of diffuse worries. Poor dear. Sounds like he's having a nice summer. Excited to be a sophomore, of all things.

Dogs are roaming about the house, so many people to visit, so little time.

Extreme honesty, is, mostly, just another form of misdirection.

Did that laundry without causing any further damage.

Feeling pretty sleep deprived, wish I'd noticed that before playing with air conditioners.

Must've slept more poorly than I thought I did last night, did keep waking up, had some pretty vividly unpleasant dreams, guess it all adds up.

Had a strange discourse on indifference developing in my head, it drifted off, the way of things.

Managed to drop an air conditioner from a third floor window, hurray for me.

Big dope.

Might be less dopey if work were less excessive, might not.

Trying to do laundry, hopefully won't rip any pipes from the ceiling or anything.

Work's turning out easier than expected, but still have a splitting headache.

At lunch, went & purchased a functioning ac adapter & a burrito.

Wishing I were home with the pups.

Just captured & released a bat which somehow found its way into the house.

In the initial excitement caused by the bat's appearance, Pickles kicked me in the testicles very hard.

Lying down now.

Earlier, my laptop's ac adapter developed a short, will replace it tomorrow, I guess.

So, to sum up Yankee Doodle Days in three words: NO FRIED DOUGH!

Seriously, folks, if you can't even get it together enough for that, I'd say it's time to stick a feather in your hat & hang it the fuck up.

So- pretty feeble, still, L. got to see her first demolition derby, there were some cute animals, had a clam boat & a pineapple shake, took photos.

The fried dough thing just leaves me shaking my head, though, and don't even get me started on the 'crafts'. Gund scarves, just horrible.

After we were there for a bit, thunderstorm started, at home listening to that now.

Just watched a hummingbird check out the orange flowers in the yard, thinking we should get a feeder.

Gray skies again today.

Fried dough, civil war re-enactors, demolition derby here we come.

Should probably shower first.

Went down to Northampton area to do some work, do some small, entertaining activities, stopped by Tom's Long Dogs on the way home, got messy hot dogs.

Did a little weed whacking.

Off to perform in Leverett shortly.

Made my first scape pesto the summer, had some on toast with tomato, may toss the rest with pasta at some point.

Have a bunch of stuff to do, head hurts.

Went & saw The Dark Knight, pretty entertaining, but not dark enough by half, honestly.

Did reinforce my impression that summer blockbusters are steadily improving from the nadir established by Con Air, wonder what that means for the culture generally, probably nothing much.

Hurt all over, hoping for a fun weekend.

Another SysAdmin Day comes & go without remark, sigh.

At least I got out early, had a tasty sandwich.

Workweek winding to a close, feeling a little shaky, could use a snack.

Snack, snack, snack.

Brr, it's cold in here.

More H & O for K.'s prebirthday dinner, delightful assortment of bar snacks & c. Busy, busy.

Got home & realized I'd forgotten to restock on kibble, so out we went to the Big Y. Special on Friendly's, two half gallons for the price of one. How'd we get so lucky.

Seemed pleasant enough most of the time we were out, feel hot & sweaty now.

Work today was dominated by user helpfully installing very nasty trojan on her workstation.

Sick of it.

Sick of it.

Car's transmission is behaving oddly when wet.

Circle the wagons, there are savages about.

If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one there should be a reference to Chekov.

Just saying.

Raining hard.

Last night was cool enough that I could turn off the fan & fall asleep listening to the rain.

Have to take Peretz in for his annual shots, how he hates it, makes for a slow, lazy morning for me, though.

Still raining.

Was just sitting out on back porch, at little marble cafe table I bought in Amherst many years ago, watching the rain, drinking coffee, trying to formulate guest list in my head, feeling a little glum about needing to omit people from it I'd really rather not. Oh, well. Sad world.

Just back from walking through another muggy night with dogs, how they love it.

Earlier, driving home from work, passed an abandoned replica of my car on the side of the road. Made me feel a bit like my own ghost. Feel that way a lot.

Another taco night. Puttin' on the Ritz & c.

Breeze from high speed fan is very pleasant.

Last night, dreamt of accidentally poking myself in the eye with a fork, over & over again.

Another gray & rainy day, carry an arid & warlike microclimate around with me, of course.

Red planet, take me home.

Thinking I should read some Cordwainer Smith tonight.

Spending a couple weeks solely responsible for the IT infrastructure of a medium-sized business organization is a bit of a drag, a bit of a vacation from the self.

Shave & a haircut, could use a shave & a haircut.

Just back from seeing John Hodgman perform secretly, was quite fun, especially as a nervous L. insisted we go very early. We got excellent seats & she got a great opportunity to indulge in her heckling proclivities.

Anyway, all pretty fun & funny, but the day was just too darn long, feeling a bit stretched out, keep realizing it's only Tuesday, agh.

The half-promised Melville:

"True, it may be urged that there is nothing a writer of fiction should more carefully see to, as there is nothing a sensible reader will more carefully look for, than that, in the depiction of any character, its consistency should be preserved. But this, though at first blush, seeming reasonable enough, may, upon a closer view, prove not so much so. For how does it couple with another requirement--equally insisted upon, perhaps--that, while to all fiction is allowed some play of invention, yet, fiction based on fact should never be contradictory to it; and is it not a fact, that, in real life, a consistent character is a rara avis? Which being so, the distaste of readers to the contrary sort in books, can hardly arise from any sense of their untrueness. It may rather be from perplexity as to understanding them. But if the acutest sage be often at his wits' ends to understand living character, shall those who are not sages expect to run and read character in those mere phantoms which flit along a page, like shadows along a wall? That fiction, where every character can, by reason of its consistency, be comprehended at a glance, either exhibits but sections of character, making them appear for wholes, or else is very untrue to reality; while, on the other hand, that author who draws a character, even though to common view incongruous in its parts, as the flying-squirrel, and, at different periods, as much at variance with itself as the butterfly is with the caterpillar into which it changes, may yet, in so doing, be not false but faithful to facts.

If reason be judge, no writer has produced such inconsistent characters as nature herself has. It must call for no small sagacity in a reader unerringly to discriminate in a novel between the inconsistencies of conception and those of life as elsewhere. Experience is the only guide here; but as no one man can be coextensive with what is, it may be unwise in every ease to rest upon it. When the duck-billed beaver of Australia was first brought stuffed to England, the naturalists, appealing to their classifications, maintained that there was, in reality, no such creature; the bill in the specimen must needs be, in some way, artificially stuck on."

OK, back to work- quack, quack, chew, chew.

Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling, Phil Ochs calling for lost Lenore, sorry, Lenore's not available to take your call, but if you'd like to leave a message...

Etc., etc.

Old black crow, high in his tree, laughing at me.

Yesterday, bought a Poe bobblehead. In many ways, a perfect image.

Big morning for pastiche, in too much of a rush to carry it off with panache, or even aplomb.

Would enjoy a plum.

Later, long quotes from The Confidence Man, maybe.

Woke far too early, didn't want to get up, lay in a hazy daze, Peretz barking occasionally. Someone walking on my grave.

Gray skies, singing 'Pale Blue Eyes' quietly to myself, truly, truly a sin. Never enough time.

Tell someone all the truth before it kills you.

What is Truth? said jesting Pilate.

Do love me some Bacon, truly, I do.