Feeling a bit less fucked up.

Remembered to get kibble & filters, got stuff to make garlic spaghetti, sausages with peppers & onions, came home & made that, helped scrape the ice off the sidewalk, trim the xmas tree, etc., etc.

Some chums came by to visit. Good times.

Keep saying to myself, "Must remember to buy dog food & coffee filters."

Also doing work, hurray!

Good bit of snow this morning, lots more on tap for Friday apparently.

Spent day at work feeling ever more sketchy. Also was told that I'm now working all day in Northampton, bleh.

Got home, walked dogs, then we went for nice dinner at H & O with Karen, began to feel overwhelmingly hungry on arrival there. After eating, started feeling sketchy again. Lying down.

Just made myself dizzy standing up, whee!

Not quite back in Eastern Time, I guess.

Having some difficulty waking up, surprise, surprise.

Dogs are behaving a little strangely. Peretz didn't want breakfast, Pickles didn't want to be outside, etc.

Feel like I spent yesterday folded up in a box.

Overtired & sore, worried that I'll have trouble falling asleep.

Finishing art projects always leaves me at a bit of a loss, nothing's ever really finished of course.

All sorts of odd activity at the back of my mind, lots of stuff back there.

Went & bought xmas tree for what I'm pretty sure was the first time ever, then went & had celebratory return early dinner at Wagon Wheel.

L. seems pretty revved up to do things with tree, I'm having a little lie down, hands are sticky with tar despite aggressive cleansing.

Hippity hop, jiggity jig, as you like.

Remarkable that the planes American uses for long flights apparently have less leg room than the ones for short hops. Knees hurt.

In bed with dogs, should shower, still a bit sandy.

Sunnier this morning, going for a swim.

We both sort of collapsed for a while, let the rain happen, etc. Eventually food was needed, we wanted to go for late night sushi/karaoke at this place in the Marriott after 10, wanted to get a snack before. Wandered aimlessly for a while looking for snack, L. looking a little the worse for wear. Didn't find anything interesting, L. suggested we just go to sushi place now, did that, though it was challenging to find, the Marriott doesn't believe in having too many informational maps in their giant complex, apparently.

Finally did find the place & it was damn good. We all felt better & took a cab home. L.'s passed out next to me, looks to be an early night, probably best, get us closer to being back on Eastern Time & all that. Curses!

Went on a little walk across town to check out antique aloha shirts. I took a wrong turn & we got caught in a torrential downpour, really pretty extreme.

As it died down, we reached the aloha shirt place, L. found a pretty cool Hawaiian print dress for $10 to replace her wet things. No cheap dresses in my size.

Went for shave ice next door after. The wife had mango, I, root beer with condensed milk on top.

Happily, we almost made it home without getting soaked again.

Before all that had an extended swim off the beach out back. Pretty glorious.

Been watching preparations for the Honolulu marathon. The finish line is right up the street.

The last time I arrived at this hotel, it was the Sunday of the marathon, odd.

Got coffees from the musubi shop downstairs. Young lady with plush reindeer antlers was working.

Back at the New Otani after a long time away, seems exactly the same. Had fancy multicourse dinner at Japanese restaurant on the 2nd floor, seemed exactly the same. Our room is directly above the little shop that sells musubi.

Flight over was pretty intense. Arrived in pouring lane, waited a long time in line to check bags, big group of Samoans tying up one of the bag checkers. Got moved to an earlier flight as all planes were late. Arrived at gate to surprise additional TSA inspection, surprised they didn't have puppets. Woman at gate counter moved us to a still earlier flight, which we promptly boarded & away we went.

Our luggage, not so much. While L. awaited its arrival on the slightly later flight, I went to get the rental car through more pouring rain, got back to the baggage claim pretty much just as our bags arrived, as we hit the highway, it stopped raining.

Smooth sailing since then, Japanese dinner as I said, walk into Waikiki, cab back, etc., etc.

Have to pay extra for Internet here, but at least it works.

Forgot to mention that I woke this morning to find that my camera's focal mechanism had failed, bought another at Radio Shack so I could get some great shots of Waimea Canyon, ha.

Kauai leg of trip proving to be a bit of a washout, turns out rain night before last was the most they've had in a night in over 4 years, beaches were mostly closed due to either bacteria or stormy conditions, spent most of day driving back & forth looking for some place to take a dip. Finally managed that in Hanalei Bay, left me feeling pretty tired & grouchy, fell asleep early.

Today, we managed a quick dip close to home early, looked at pretty fishes, then had a delightfully hearty breakfast at the Kountry Kitchen. Tried to go look at Waimea Canyon, but it was totally fogged in & pouring. At the bottom of that in Waimea town now, using pay for Internet at slightly questionable Gallery/Cafe, sipping an Americano because they don't have regular coffee.

Apparently poured pretty seriously on Oahu as well, hope the nice folks at Papa Ole's weathered the storm OK.

Arrived on Kauai to beautiful cottage, sketchy Internet service. Stopped by farmer's market for papayas & rambutan then took a drive out west under setting sun, saw remarkable rainbow rising from red cliff face, luckily avoided crashing car while distracted by it.

Watched the cloud-occluded sunset on a beach with kids ATVing back & forth.

Drove back to Kapaa through wet darkness, went out for fancy drinks & dinner, not as good as what we have back home, but tasty enough & L. got her caesar salad, as did I.

Stormed during the night, slept like log through most of that, woke around 9 to flooded yard, wet sneakers.

Going to go to some beach or other shortly. Love to all.

We ended up collapsing in heaps late afternoon yesterday, missed the Mormon/Polynesian spectacular, can't say I'm too disappointed, even without giving them money, the thought of being in close proximity to that loopy hate cult makes my skin crawl.

Got some late night saimin & came home & crashed again.

I got up early & watched the low key sunrise, then took a walk down the street to the market for cigarettes, snapping photos along the way. Just got back & told L. it was about time for her to get up, we've got a car to return & a flight to catch.

This first leave taking is making me feel like the honeymoon's already over. I want more life.

Turning out to be a close to home kind of day, L. managed to actually sleep until a reasonable hour, spent much of the morning lazing about. Went to my new favorite plate lunch place for an early lunch/late breakfast, L. got another breakfast sandwich, without cheese this time, I got more garlic chicken, but the extremely friendly cashier hooked me up with a complimentary side of beef teriyaki. Also offered us free tickets to nightly Polynesian spectacular at the Mormon run cultural center down the road, a sister works there apparently. We were told to return after one for the tickets. Also gave us some buns drenched in coconut sauce which I quite liked, L. not so much.

Went up to Laie point, pretty spectacular, on the way there, noticed the Leonard Jr.'s truck in shopping center. Stopped there on the way back from point for more hot malasadas. Going to hell for sure.

Burned a few of the excess calories frolicking at nearby beach, mostly just floated around.

Stopped back by plate lunch place for tickets around two. Tickets had not yet arrived, waited around checking out the scene, lots of dogs, flamboyant gays & hardy worker types, a lively scene. Just as we were giving up, sister arrived with tickets.

Went back to Laie looking for a soap case & q-tips, while the wife was fetching those, went & got refreshing frozen drinks.

Back at the place, sitting on the lanai, sipping frozen drinks.

Having a very pleasant vacation, loco moco at quality place down the street, snorkling at Hanauma Bay, Leonard's malasadas, both cinnamon sugar & strawberry custard filled (preferred the non-filled), more swimming at delightfully wavy beach being used mostly by boogie boarders, nice Japanese dinner, etc., etc.

Having a guava nectar with vodka, should really shower off some of this salt & grit.

Hope you're feeling better, Mom, tried to call, didn't work.

Woke ridiculously early again today, but not quite as ridiculously early. Watched another beautiful sunrise.

Ended up eating twice yesterday at Papa Ole's, the plate lunch place down the street I was interested in via various Internet review sites, pretty fantastic, garlic chicken was mind blowing. Wish I knew how juicy sauciness within crispy exterior was achieved. Super friendly dinner server promised to hook us up if we returned today for breakfast, hurray!

Raining a little, out on the lanai under an overhang as the wireless works better.

Enjoying typical vacation Internet access, blech.

Otherwise things are lovely, soaked in hot tub, ate garlicky shrimp, got a hat, had shave ice with ice cream, splashed in waves, macadamia pancakes, etc., etc.

L. keeps sending me cows on Facebook. She's pretty awesome.

Woke a little while ago, listened to call of distant tropical chicken for a bit, then walked down to water, constant rolling surf, strong steady breeze, sat there for a little while, came back to room & had a little water.

Finally got to Honolulu, learned that Hawaii has recently enacted bizarre overreaching antismoking ordinance, dealt with surly car rental people, rush hour traffic, etc.

Very tired, finally got to rental, weird hassle with key, L.'s mad there are no screen doors, otherwise seems pretty OK to me.

Took a walk up the busy, busy street for liquor & Korean BBQ.

The party's started, hurrah!

Sitting in weirdly lit terminal, thinking about research into treating PTSD by interfering with the formation of long term memories. I expect if that's ever successful we'll end up being loaded naked into cargo planes & given a little shot at the other end. Might be preferable.

Me & the wife just back from the security theater, waiting at our gate.

Morning wasn't as much of a mad rush as I expected, thanks, Ian.

Woken a little while ago by call from work, not anything I could really help with, thankfully.

Need to get up an hour & a half from now to go to airport, how odd.

Just back from dropping the dogs at Meadowrock Kennel in Suffield, made us both feel a little melancholy, dogs seemed fine.

Stopped for some White Hut on the way home, yum yum.

L.'s work xmas party in a bit. Will try to sleep after that, I guess.

Wikipedia says: "Attention please: The Titan Cronus/Kronos (Κρόνος in Greek) is sometimes mythologically confused with Chronos (Χρόνος in Greek), the personification of time." But you already knew that.

Too many pictures in my head.

Im Dom, da steht ein Bildniss
Auf goldenem Leder gemalt.
In meines Lebens Wildniss
Hat's freundlich hineingestrahlt.

Getting ready for last little bit of work before vacation. Sitting on back porch with dogs, started writing a poem in my head, then lost track of it. Pickles barked at squirrels as I watched them run along the roofline of the neighboring barn.

After work, need to take the dogs to kennel, hopefully it'll be fun for them, wish they could see Hawaii. Afraid of flying.

In my mind's eye, watching a kappa turn into a chi and back again.

Went for final meal at H & O, before trip anyway, cosmos, clam chowder, brisket plates with waffles. Pretty fucking idyllic.

Been reading about plate lunch & shave ice places on yelp & the like.

Plate lunch, shave ice. We're going to go swimming, hurrah!

Just back from walking the dogs, one by one, through the grim, wet darkness of early evening.

Waiting to hear about dinner plans.

Finally did laundry for trip.

Idiotic morning at work, working from home this afternoon, have a very stiff neck, just took a very hot shower, maybe it'll help.

Yogurt & rice seem to be working their magic.

Stiff & sore, warmer this morning.

Lazily lying about, reading about ambiguity. Just read some joker claiming people don't generally employ it on purpose. Lot he knows.

Fed Peretz some rice & yogurt, L. made tacos, everybody's happy.

Peretz seems a good deal better this morning, kept me up late, shivering wrapped in a towel, poor little guy.

Should make him some rice & yogurt later.

Hopefully they'll stay out of the oil today.

Sitting up with sick pup, watching Dr. Who.

Make a wish.

Poor sick pup.

Came home to a vomiting Peretz. After extensive bile cleanup, found the culprit, a bottle of Wesson canola oil, 3/4 full as of yesterday evening, now topless & empty. Pickles seems fine.

We just took them both for a walk, bit more gagging from Peretz. We're cuddled up in a blanket now, he's shivering.

Make a wish, doesn't work, couldn't hurt, etc., etc.

Want some tasty lunch.

It's funny to feel simultaneously exploited & insufficiently taken advantage of, welcome to the American workplace, I suppose.

Wishing I had some ibuprofen.

Sometimes I enjoy the feeling that I am concealing whole universes.

This is, of course, a lot of nonsense-just drips & drabs, mostly not so much hidden as not worth mentioning.

Still, alone with idiosyncratically connoting signs, building little networks, a nice enough hobby horse.

One of these days, I'll finally reread Tristram Shandy.

Back from another soup & game night, black bean soup makes it all better, got the wife so revved up she's back at work working on work, the little piston.

Strangely warm for the day after snow & ice.

Pickles is lazily chewing on something.

Chair at work is making my back hurt.

Bored, stressed, tired, anxious, want to get out of here & off to Hawaii already.

This year is shaping up as the stupidest at this job yet.

Ice to rain, blech. Icy pools in back yard are kind of neat, I guess.

Sleepy, chilly.

Snow's changed to ice, L.'s made cookies, listening to sleet's rustle, watching Dr. Who.

Would like to fall asleep & wake to lots more weekend.

Snow, snow, snow!

Just went back & forth to work in the snow, snow, snow, not particularly slick, people driving like idiots, salt trucks out.

Supposed to warm up later, will try to enjoy while it lasts.

Feel so much dumber than when I was a kid, frustrating.

From across the street, "Bye!" "Bye, I love you!" Closing car doors.

Peretz & Pickles had a mildly violent dispute over food.

Should go do work.

L. got coffee, lovely woman.

All sorts of fun doings out & about, foot hurts too much.

Need coffee, foot hurts too much.

Took a hot bath & some ibuprofen, helped a bit.

Finally went to check out Countrypie in Ashfield, crust only passable but very nice in all other respects, though my colleagues objected to the cleanliness of the tables & the parmesan baked on the pies (not the quality of the cheese but its simple presence. Learned of another new pizza option in Colrain while there, will have to check that out at some point.

Foot's back to hurting, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Smoked sausages are en route to us by post.

Was settling in for a quiet evening when a sudden splash alerted me that something was amiss. Appalled wife relayed the information that Peretz was vomiting from her once cozy perch by the fire. Quite voluminous, bit of a bear to clean up, found the chunky, fuzzy bits by the dog bed particularly upsetting.

Anyway, all better now, I hope.

Finally have clean clothes, washed myself in celebration.

L. made a rum cake.

Came home from work, picked turkey carcass fairly clean, had turkey sandwiches. Meant to write that down hours ago, too spacey.

Brought in more wood, watching Everest documentary.

Odd cold symptoms, after leaving me largely alone while making & enjoying holiday supper, returned while I slept, kept waking up coughing. A little more work, then nap, I think.

It's sleeting.

Made a pretty lavish Thanksgiving spread, fairly substantial company ended up trickling in, some brought scotch, happy days.

We're all watching Star Trek futuristically streamed to our TV over modern computer networks.

Want some pie, still too full.

Macy's Parade, Macy's Parade.

Saw Snoopy, where's Underdog?

Left work early, came home & took a nap. Got up around 4 & started cleaning the kitchen, preparing sweet potatoes for pie & squash for roasting, L. got home, made enchiladas & cookies, then I made pie.

Cooking made me feel somewhat better, generally does.

Went to see some music in Turner's, talked to a bunch of people, got tired & came home.

Lying down, realized how shitty I feel. Fucking cold.

Coming down with something, coughing my head off at desk. Was feeling a little unusually woozy & sleepy last night, guess that's why.

Want some soup.

Strange, disrupted sleep.

Was going to make sweet potato pies last night, was too sleepy & lazy.

Dreamt of things without number, mostly mechanical. Kept waking to warm dogs.

Feel like I'm at the bottom of a well.

Could use a soda, maybe I'll get a soda.

Usually comforting machine hum oppressive today.

Rainy, rainy morning = trouble getting up.

Finally struggled upstairs to the wife with coffee, watched "Rainy Days & Mondays", other Carpenters videos for a bit, skipped the shower, walked dogs in the rain.

Last night, while trying to sleep, found mind veering off in unpleasant directions, needed to put on anime to quieten it. After that, had the usual wacky cartoon dreams.

First it's really cold for a few days, then it rains. That's the way it plays in Tennessee.

So, Massachusetts has gone south.

Work is so dismal lately, nothing much going on there other than stupidity & layoffs. The stupid people are almost never the ones to leave.

We have very little food in the house apart from stuff for Thanksgiving. Despite that, made what I think was a pretty passable vegetable curry.

After that, sat around watching TV & drinking whisky & ginger ales.

Job is giving me a stomach ache. More of that to come, I'd guess. Got to love being the guy who deletes people's user accounts in a recession. Ick.

Banana pudding went over pretty well, pretty much like I remembered it, though it would've been nice to let it sit longer.

Warmer today, but a damp chill in the air.

Slept late, went to brunch with the wife & kid, delightful brunch got comped as a result of L.'s social networking activities on their behalf. Nice.

Took kid down to Smith to meet his ride home, then went Thanksgiving shopping, also got stuff to make desserts for multiperson birthday party later. I made an enormous banana pudding, like old times. L.'s making double chocolate cookies.

Not quite as cold today.

Sal's out for a visit for the first time in ages, we just watched The Evil Dead, try to be a good influence.

Shocking cold continues, should probably take the dogs for a walk.

Fell asleep by the fire, kept waking in awkward positions with a dog wedged between me & the couch.

This morning, tried to get warm donuts from Adams, but they had already stopped making them, got some nonwarm donuts, still delightful.

First morning it's been so cold my car's steering was stiff.

Just back from lunch with Henry, Nancy & Alice en route to Portland, ME. Kid's getting pretty hefty, cool to see her packing away meatloaf clubs & the like though the rest of us could also have used some lunch.

One extremely taxing workweek down, one to go. Lying in a pile with dogs.

Thinking about how communicating on the Internet tends to make people seem like cartoon characters. Or maybe it pulls back the veil, revealing them to be such.

More inclined to believe the latter, that the naturalism of everyday life is more a product of awkward physicality than anything in anyone's mind.

Thinking about how terrible most people are at improvised performance, how everything is improvised performance.

Should probably avoid getting up early.

Woke early, around six, tried to check email, Internet connection was down, fixed it.

Went out back with dogs, very cold, thought about Hawaii, now my fingers hurt.

Returned home from another excessively busy day, made gorgonzola tortellini with cognac cream sauce & roasted butternut squash with maple & butter that I'd been meaning to make all week.

Walked dogs through the crisp air spewing gibberish countrified similes all the while.

Going to watch Dirty Harry.

Kraut dogs & butterscotch pudding for lunch, sometimes it seems the world was designed for my pleasure.

Thinking about people not knowing their own minds.

Been talking about amusingly broken ad server.

Morning dog fracas a bit more extreme than is usual.

Some day this week is going to end.

Just back from deluxe three course dinner largely courtesy of absurd Little Red Riding Hood outfit. Pistachio crusted salmon with mango hollandaise & the like, hurray!

Work continues busy, time flies when you're having fun.

L. went to glower at the D.A. for being a racist pig for a bit, good work, sweepea.

Sleepy day, would rather be sleeping.

Last night, really lovely dinner at the H & O, then straight to bed.

Enjoying the briskness.

Frosty morn, front steps were slippery.

Inability to get head around work coming to the fore sooner than usual before a vacation, oh well. Probably going to be busy with user support that requires no thought most of the time anyway.

Hands hurt.

Headache comes & goes, back again, pretty unbearable.

Cold, cold night. Low, yellow half moon.

Today as I went to & fro, little bursts of snow. Nice.

Stopped for some slices on the way home.

About half an hour after arriving at work, headache was back in full force. Coffee's pushed it back a little.

Booked car rentals for Oahu legs of Hawaii trip, all done booking stuff for that, I think.

Want to be in Hawaii already.

Going to be a stressful couple of weeks of work with most of the rest of the IT staff in press training, stupid, stupid, stupid.

Woke in the middle of the night to imaginary phone calls about Aztec curse & stomach cramps. Dumb old mummy didn't need that mask.

Overslept a bit, just checked work email, need to walk the dog & go.

Strangely, strenuous yard labor seems to have made my back feel better.

Kind of a fun party, amusing chatter, Making Time & the like playing quietly through TV speakers.

Before & after, blinding headache, barely made it in from the car.

Got back from work, lazed about for a bit, walked dogs, then went to brunch with chums. After that, leaf raking. Stupidly omitted gloves, now have mildly abraded hands.

More resting now, dinner party later.

Rebooting servers.

Seems like we're back to cold & sunny.

Back hurts.

Went to store in pouring rain for makings of quiches & cake.

Sitting around with wet dogs waiting for quiches to bake.

Rain has died down somewhat.

Slept for a long while, pretty great.

Still raining.

Still raining.

Went to see the new Bond flick, pretty entertaining, annoying audience.

After that, L. headed south for a benefit, I had some leftover chili & settled in with pups.

Continuing to settle in.

Today continues wet, bleh.

Thought Henry & Co. were coming today, turns out it's next week, bleh.

L. wants to go see Iron & Wine tomorrow, but it's sold out.

You get the idea.

Made sandwiches, fell asleep by fire. Woke up & the house was gone.

Actually, just woke up, shut down fire, came upstairs with pups. Still raining, feeling benevolent, won't let it throw me.

Spacing out, watching Dr. Who.

Rainy & cold. May make a fire.

Got stuff for sandwiches.

Dark & dreary day brightened by some spicy noodles & a Snickers bar.

Have a bit of a chill.

They've hung curtains outside the windows by my desk to separate me a bit from the photo studio, bit like the bottom of a grave.

Fell asleep away from my alarm clock, woke much the same time as always.

Spent a little time reading some stuff by people I consider pretty good writers, always amazed when someone's writing seems to flow naturally. I imagine there's some art or another to it, but I can't help but feel they also lack my sense of writing everything on a distant wall with a long awkward stick. Probably also trust themselves somewhat.

As always, the prize for my morning exertions, a cup of coffee, pretty good prize.

Near total indifference can provide a pretty good simulation of being open and trusting, working on it.

Got to thinking about long ago time when my flickr account didn't have 36000 or so photos on it, went back & labeled some.

It's really a pretty excessive number of photos. Hm.

Got home feeling extremely addled, work, traffic, etc. Went to H & O for salad, ending up getting excessive quantities of all sorts of stuff & a very stiff drink. No longer feel addled, am now a bit overly sedate.

Getting cold fast now once the sun is down. Lovely haze haloed moon tonight.

First morning of the season my car's windows were notably frosted.

Getting a little better at getting up & going.

90 years since WW I, what a fucking mess.

Muscles hurt, hungry, cold.

Intensified cheapness, battiness, etc. at work making me feel a bit on edge.

Simultaneously nerve wracking and very, very dreadfully & deeply dull is what I'm saying.

Want to be on holiday already.

Armistice Day, Armistice Day.

Finding it harder to get up every day, not because I'm sleepy, getting too much enjoyment from lazy reverie. Imagined characters, conversations.

Thinking about my Sunday burger & malted project, should get back on that.

Thinking about the strange ubiquity of electronic devices, networked & otherwise, how most of my time is spent interacting with them. Stranger that this is also true of people who don't have that as a job.

OK, back to it.

"Refusing all Definite Form, the Abstract Horror roofd. stony hard."

That's what I'm talking about.

Had a candy bar, Three Musketeers.

Sitting at desk, feeling stiff.

Little old lady in newsroom keeps screwing up her mail client, removing toolbar repeatedly, opening new messages while in the midst of typing and typing on obliviously, then claiming her work has disappeared, etc.

Should probably be job hunting.

Getting a little lost in dizzying exhaustion. There was a time I'd communicate that more concretely, may be best I don't.

Abstraction is, like most things, even better than expected.

Back from Syracuse, took the scenic route back, lovely golden light on the last leg & now.

Going to load in some wood, then go retrieve the pups from their bondage.

In Syracuse, pretty rainy on the drive over.

Before that, dropped the dogs at the spa, got hot glazed donuts.

L.'s showing her mom how to use her new computer. Later, I will remove spyware.

After warming up a frozen pot pie for dinner, lay down for a little rest, woke up about an hour ago.

Sounds of geese from beyond the railroad tracks.

Need to prepare for travel.