Sunday, August 31, 2008

Relating the interpretation of mundane jottings such as these to the log monitoring & analysis I do professionally, establish a baseline, note variations, alerts, etc. All very humdrum.

Gazing glazedly through my blinds. When's naptime?
Just back from stoking the fires of pure reason with another delightful brunch.

We've got a long drive ahead of us, preparing myself mentally.

Peretz is asleep beside me, chin on his paws.
Sunday morning laundry.

Head full of projects, will have time for those sometime.

Sipping coffee.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Went & used up accumulated gift certificates, did some work.

Feeling very low energy, hand hurts.

Enjoying a cool breeze.
Slowly being led to the conclusion that trying to be nice to people isn't worth the effort. Good work, folks, thanks for the heads up.

What a vile world this is.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Listening to the wind, crickets.
Took a nap, woke to heavy air, headache, damp.

Went to store, bought bulk sundries, kielbasa links to make tomorrow.

Feeling overtaxed.
Right after I got to my desk, little old lady came in & asked me, "I just sent 10 over & nothing's happening at the other end. Can you help me?"

Turns out it was a printer problem. Should've guessed.

Hand's throbbing unpleasantly. Peretz has chewed his butt sore again, poor little guy.
I've started rereading The Foundations of Arithmetic in the bathroom mornings, clearing my head out nicely.

Clear headed & affectionate is really the only worthwhile way to approach the world, wish I could maintain that more easily.

Coffee, as with so many other things, helps.

Looking forward to tossing another workweek into the dustbin of history.

Obscure & irritable, sorry, sorry, stupid of me, I know.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Stabbed myself in the palm opening a plastic tub of licorice, then headed over to local Democratic party spectacular over at our favorite restaurant.

Place was chock full of beaming, gleeful fanatics. L. says they just want to believe things can be better, I don't know, religion makes me feel sad & sick inside.

There were, however, some delicious free snacks.
Another bleary-eyed morning of spam perusal, could use more coffee.

Thinking it may be time for some aesthetic principles beyond mere aggregation.

Also another day of working at 3 locations, gets old.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Got home so hungry was staggering a bit, made some pasta with cognac cream sauce with onions & Outlook chorizo as quickly as possible, now feel much better.

Likeness, facsimile, simulacrum.

Etc., etc.


A few more RSVPs arrived today & a birth announcement. Life goes on, or so they say.
Today's proving to be amusingly technical, all sorts of technical stuff. Yip, yip!

Didn't manage to eat lunch, sadly.

Excited for the Brain Exchange later.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Back from Transperformance, guess I'd say U2 was the high point, though I've never much cared for them. Nadir would have to be the Guns 'N' Roses. Wished T. Rex had done "Chariot Choogle" & XTC "Statue of Liberty". Can't always get what you want. Was very pleased that ELO did "Mr. Blue Sky", which played over our exit, there was a strange moment just as we were leaving, though, where the vocals seemed to slip radically out of key, was strange, couldn't tell if it was in my head or what. All the times I listened to that song off 45 when I was 7 or whatever, hard to think of it as existing out in the world, outside of my head.

Anyway, anyway.

After the show, tried the newly reopened Paradise City Tavern, burger was pretty decent, but you'd think for the ten dollars or so they charged for it, they could buy local tomatoes.

The drive home was characterized by each driver near me doing some typical annoying thing, like living in a textbook, ick.

Need sleep.
Sitting at my desk at work, moodily sipping coffee. It's getting very difficult to schedule anything here.

Foot is improving anyway.

Trying to figure out money stuff.
Really didn't want to leave my cozy bed, finally did, dog & coffee routine complicated by Pickles desire to shoot out the door like a bullet, Pickles entangling himself in his line, etc., etc. Peretz was a perfect gentleman.

Have returned to bed with coffee, is going to be hard to leave again.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Came home from work, made spicy mac 'n' cheese, brought it & jalapeƱo & cheese kielbasa over to bbq at pals' house. Lots of friendly folks & tasty food in attendance, people seemed to like the mac 'n' cheese. Met with a variety of small to medium sized dogs.

Feels great to be home & off my feet. Peretz is arranging the blanket to suit.

A Fistful of Dollars is on. How much havoc can one man wreak?
Car's not yet fixed, mechanic's still searching for part, argh!

In other news, my left foot hurts like the bejeezus.

Having a Dr. Pepper.
Long, strange night, tossing & turning, sore muscles, dreams of photographs, conversations with absent people, etc.

Wonder if my car is fixed?

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Just back from being at the Vineyard longer than expected, a tiring but good time. After some initial confusion struggling through fireworks hungry multitudes in Oak Bluffs, things went pretty smoothly. Kid's band is surprisingly good, Gay Head even lovelier than anticipated, the West Tisbury Fair, while not up to the standard set by the Cummington one, still pretty nice, drunk college students still as annoying as always, human psychology still a big letdown, etc., etc.

Today so far has been mostly travel, had enough of that for a bit, I think. Going to go fetch the pups shortly.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Just took steps to prevent a server going south over the weekend, should really take a shower.

Itchy, sneezy, dopey, grumpy.

Didn't sleep very well, woke around 4 having a severe allergic reaction to something, spent about half an hour coughing & sneezing, never did get back to proper sleep.

Feeling a bit sluggish.

Looks to be a lovely, lovely day.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Feeling very sedate, if not sedated.

Went out for some Chinese noodle's & Dirty Bill's karaoke.

Looking forward to brief island holiday. Love those.
Home again, collapsed in a heap. Self-consciousness taken to its logical conclusion.

Ah, the wife's home.
Was just, rather than doing work, reading a trite web article about the decline of villainy in popular media. Wasn't that interesting, basically in favor of unexplained harsh viciousness, not getting any argument from me about that. Did find some of the comments in favor of subtler, psychologized villains sort of thought-provoking, if misguided. Like so much else associated with realism, these sort of preferences tend to distract from how things actually are, people being, after all, mostly stereotypes, the subtle reader seeking subtle characters being one such.

Plausible explanations, verisimilitude, etc., etc.

I say it's spinach & I say the hell with it. Beats working.
Amusingly technical problems to deal with this morning, a welcome change.

Pay dispute with workplace more or less sorted out, fact that I can anticipate other such disputes makes me wish I had a different workplace.

Made arrangements to get car sorted out, that will occur while I am away playing on the Vineyard.

So, slowly sorting things out, could use a more efficient sort algorithm.

Going to head out to lovely fish 'n' chip shop for lunch with our web developer in a bit.
Had a pretty nice evening, made bacon cheeseburgers, Roma came by & had one, watched more Olympics, etc., etc.

Not feeling much like going to work.

Out my window, squealing tires. Really need to do something about my car.

Pickles's enthusiastic nesting just knocked my laptop out of my hands.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Went & got a burrito, mood slightly improved.

Lovely outside, stupid & tiresome in.

La la la, la, la la, la la.
Finally fell asleep. Woke up feeling cold, Olympic gymnast being interviewed on the TV, constant stupid leading questions designed to satisfy a prefabricated narrative, what else is new?

People want to make everybody else players in their story. It's a drag.

Long pause, sipping coffee.

Wish I could make it stop.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

In an unpleasant panic state, would like to be asleep, am going to go have a cigarette, then curl up & shake for a while.

Was going to make burgers, ended up going out for soup & salad, burgers tomorrow.

Very sleepy, bats squeaking outside making me nervous, watching Olympics.

Nice cool breeze, soon, fall.
Got so sleepy at work, decided it would be safer to drive home before I got any sleepier.

No sign of bats.
Bat invasion continued through the night, didn't sleep very well, feeling a bit ragged & on edge, disposed of two bat cadavers in the morning, one of which L. bagged with Pickles in the night, the other killed by Peretz/Pickles tag team in my room as I was getting ready to leave for work.

Wish those bats were smart enough to just steer clear.

Drinking some coffee at my icy desk, feeling icy & distant.

A variety of things, not just bats, colluding to stress me out, ongoing pay dispute at work, ongoing ridiculous hostile(?) monitoring (honestly, what's the point?), worrying about paying for car repairs, etc., etc.

Could use a snack.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Just back from celebration of little Magdalena's 2nd birthday. Good times.

Apart from the bat hiding behind my bookcase, anyway.
Turned on godawful classic rock radio morning show in an attempt to get "You're Gonna Miss Me" out of my head, didn't really work until they played "Bad Company".

Going to be a sleepy day at work. Fingers hurt from yesterday's potatoing.

Going to check through the weekend's spam now.
Got a ride from Neil to noise show at the Elevens, pretty nice music & several people seemed genuinely happy to see me. Learned that favorite fish 'n' chip shop is now only open Thursday-Saturday, drag, but at least it's still open.

Spent most of the show being too sleepy, finally had the bright idea of getting a coke, perked me up a bit, but not really enough.

On the ride home, talked with Neil about movies, he wishes he could open a theater, like most simple dreams involving bringing joy to others, probably unfulfillable.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Took a nap, returned call to my cousin Bess who had called while I was chopping potatoes to discuss accommodation options. Lower back hurts a bit from too long at too low counter. Should really walk Peretz.
Just back from four hours of doing my best impression of a potato chopping machine.

Peretz is licking my elbow, doubtless delightfully starchy.
Trying very hard to be awake enough to go do food prep. It's a challenge.

Peretz is looking out the window, should take him for a walk.

Coffee, coffee.

Muscles hurt.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Stumbled my way downstairs, had a drink, a snack, let the dog out.

Sat on the back porch watching him sniff around, thinking about ecology as a game for the privileged, feeling old & tired.

Lovely moon tonight.
Went & hung with Neil & Faf, checked their artspace, walked to Wagon Wheel for sundaes, played a little frisbee.

Got home all tuckered out, L.'s gone to Northampton for karaoke & a show. A lot of energy, that one.
Made some spicy sausage & onion sandwiches with a side of broccoli raab, thinking about new soda flavors.

Should probably really ditch this IT crap & open a soda shop.

Sleepy again.
Pretty idyllic morning, went to the co-op for donuts, curried chicken salad, tomatoes & sourdough bread, then stood around the kitchen drinking coffee & snacking.

At work now, waiting for servers to finish rebooting & C.
Feeling better, remarkable how much fifteen or so hours of sleep can help.

Eating yogurt covered raisins & malted milk balls with my coffee.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Feeling tired blurred into feeling ill, dizzy, upset stomach, took a nap, woke up, still feeling woozy, had a ginger ale, watched some Olympics, pb & j on a sesame roll. Lying down again, feeling pretty wretched.

Busy weekend, work tomorrow, helping with harvest supper Sunday, hope I feel better.
So sleepy that on the drive home from picnic one of my eyes was watering.

Going to have a little quiet time now.
Last night, after L. finally got home, we went for nice dinner at the H & O, interesting peach infused bourbon drink on special, fries better than usual, people very nice as always.

After that, headed to Dirty Bill's for a little of their famous Thursday night karaoke, L. sang "Jesse's Girl", I did "Behind Blue Eyes", not half as creepy as I'd hoped. L. won a free drink ticket which I used to get a scotch & soda. Some lady sang an amazingly tone deaf rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings".

Stayed up far too late watching gymnastics, paying for that now.

Need to shower, take poor Peretz for his shot & go to work. Then, company picnic at Look.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

'He a string of pearls gave to her,
Smooth and polished, pied and purple.
Round her snowy neck she placed them
With no thought of harm or cunning;
And with simple, maiden speeches
Filled the time as they sped onward.
To each pearl had Chi-co chanted,
Each had bathed in mystic water,
Each held fast the same weird power,
Till the time grew ripe for evil.
On the waves they could not harm her,
There the Sea-King ruled them ever;
But when on the shore she landed
They would work their evil mission.
On the shore of Ro-a-no-ak
Chi-co sent his boat with vigor.
Lithe and happy she sprang shoreward,
When,— from where her foot first lightly
Pressed the sand with human imprint,—
On— away— towards the thicket,
Sprang a White Doe, fleet and graceful.
His revenge thus wrought in safety,
Drifting seaward Chi-co chanted:
"Go, White Doe, hide in the forest,
Feed upon the sweet wild-grasses;
No winged arrow e'er shall harm you,
No Red Hunter e'er shall win you;
Roam forever, fleet and fearless,
Living free and yet in fetters."
O fair maiden! born and nurtured
Neath the shadow of disaster!
Isle of Fate was Ro-a-no-ak,
In the Land-of-Wind-and-Water.
Nevermore to fill with gladness
The sad heart of stricken mother;
Nevermore to hear the wooing
Of the brave and true O-kis-ko.
Gone thy charm of youthful beauty,
Gone thy sway o'er savage natures;
Doomed to flee before the hunter,
Doomed to roam the lonely island,
Doomed to bondage e'en in freedom.
Is the seal of doom eternal?
Hath the mussel-pearl all power?
Cannot love thy fetters loosen?'

Just sayin'.
Went & got Benadryl, kibble, tricked Peretz into eating tablet with a wad of cheese. Getting back to work.

Wishing I could just stay home all the time, it's very tranquil.
Working from home this morning, very pleasant, dogs seem happy. Plumbing afoot in the server room, trying not to sweat it.

Need to go get Benadryl for Peretz in preparation for lyme vax tomorrow morning. Poor Peretz!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Just had a refreshing glass of Virginia Dare Korker, it's what the hip kids are drinking, 'My Pretty Snow Deer' playing wistfully in the background.

dead heart

Bit chilly in the deep, dark woods tonight. Like your cloak & hood, whatcha got in the basket?
Had some pizza, cream soda, num num num.

Feeling pretty shaky from last night's lack of sleep.

Dogs need walking.
Didn't get nearly enough sleep.

Becoming increasingly aggravated with my workplace, may be time to find a new workplace.

Well, think that's probably my quota for arena rock for the year, not that I didn't enjoy myself.

Find people's love of being in crowds pretty mysterious. Don't mind moving through crowds, but standing around in them, ick.

Anyway, the wife & kid never tire of arena rock, so are off tomorrow to catch Radiohead at Corporate Sponsor Stadium somewhere deep in Eastern MA. For my part, I plan to eat pizza & laze about. You know, with a very powerful lazer. Zap, zap.

Peretz is making himself comfortable on my bed.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Was sitting at my desk feeling bleh, took a brief walk & got a couple hot dogs, now feeling groovy.

Wish I had a coffee, though.
Slept like a stone, could use more of that.

Looking forward to an exciting day filled to the brim with repetitive tasks and arguing with management over compensation.

After that, Wilco at Tanglewood.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Back from potluck, jumping kids were making downstairs neighbor testy, people seemed to enjoy my cake.

Cute kids.

When we got home, Pickles was running around with a two pound weight in his mouth.

Watching more Olympics, Os Mutantes song in a McDonald's commercial, etc.
Went home & let the dogs out, had some cold soup & a roll, perked up a bit.

Perk is steadily seeping out now I've returned to my desk.
Getting another lesson in how depression impairs empathy, because I really needed one, slow learner & all that.

Otherwise, usual Monday tedium, thanks for asking.

Going to sneak out & mail those invites.
Slept very poorly.

Fact is, worrying about people one cares about hurting themselves & being unable to do anything at all about it is a great big drag.

Back to work, back to work.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Decided peach bread pudding was too much trouble, mainly because I would have needed to go to the store for milk & bread, made a peach cake instead.

Once done with that & laundry, caught the tail end of Bring It On, always enjoyable.

Feeling vaguely distressed & out of sorts, wish it were just needing to return to work tomorrow, it's mostly that anyway.
Got some envelopes stuffed, then L. headed out to fetch the kid whose search for a ride had come up dry. She called from Athol to alert me of her return, kid having finally succeeded, those whacky kids!

We're sitting around watching Bond movie on TV, L.'s making lists & checking them twice, I'm trying to think of something to make for potluck tomorrow.

Maybe bread pudding? With peaches?
Went & had that brunch after all, hurrah!

Shared worrisome soda maker news with other concerned parties.

Water polo, water polo.

Should really do laundry.
Watching Olympics, rowing.

Sort of wanted to go have brunch.

Slept through church again.

Invites mostly finished, small thanks to lazy old me.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Trip to favorite source of quality local soda was a bit troubling, they were out of quart sized orange dry, learned on asking why that the proprietor had a heart attack a couple weeks ago. Guess he's back at soda bottling already, with a little extra help, but has some catch up work to do, heard him promise from upstairs that the orange dry would be back in stock next week, what a lovely man.

Anyway, they did have 5 of the 7 oz orange dry, so bought a case of the little bottles as well.

After that, we went & got sonhos, Portuguese rolls, banana cream pie, the makings of a Portuguese soup, etc., etc.

L. wanted to get a butterfly bush, but there was no room in the car (filled with not yet returned returnables). Drag.

About to start work on wedding reception FAQ.
Foggy drive home last night, a bit groggy this morning.

Show last night was of pretty high quality across the board, despite the heat, mustiness & crappy sound typical of that place. Wish we had better places for music, should probably get on it.

Shoulder seems to be recovering, wonder what I did to it.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Took a nice nap, then Wagon Wheel for supper, clam chowder, burger special, iced tea, pie & ice cream.

Going to Elevens shortly for 8/8/8 festivities.

Took some ibuprofen for shoulder.

Ludlow trip planned for tomorrow, soda/pie restock.
Right shoulder hurts, drinking coffee.

A little low thunder.

Still a bit shocked that I've allowed myself to grow a beard, growing lax.

Mind wanders down dark avenues, gets jumped, gets the shit kicked out of it. Should learn to steer clear of that bad neighborhood.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Very little I like better than a thunderstorm, one of the only things I miss about Tennessee, honestly.

Lots here lately, pretty nice.

Cool, rainy night. Made some spaghetti with garlic & vegetables, some romano cheese crisps.

A lot less tired than I was yesterday, enjoying being a layabout nonetheless.
Got that hearty lunch, since then it's been downhill, mostly.

Had to move a bunch of equipment, computers & parts again as part of the perpetual ongoing reorganization process, blech.

Another tornado touched down in the area, apparently.

Would like to be home, have some errands to run after I'm released from this place, double blech.
I love a hot dog cart.

Was feeling a bit like I was going to pass out, feel OK now, but kind of wish I'd gotten 2 hot dogs rather than one.

Maybe some chips, maybe some actual hearty lunch, hm.
Thinking about the blackberries behind the paper, Dante, lobsters, the night having a thousand eyes.

Having a hard time getting revved up for work.

Thinking about movie I watched last night, protagonist's stupid husband made my stomach hurt, lots of nice pies. Never been much for realist drama.

Getting some good work done on the phenomenology of boredom. Actually, the -ology bit is misleading, it's not actually structured, may be why I'm so fond of it.

Horizons, bracketing.

Quite the chatterbox this AM.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Stuff to do in Amherst, ugh.

On the bright side, provides an opportunity to restock on iced tea.

Funny, sleepy, funny.
Was playing with Cuil, way results are laid out makes my eyes hurt, done playing with Cuil.

Sleepy, edgy.

Just wrote something, then thought better of it. Then wrote something else & thought better of that too.

Love you folks, take care of yourselves if you're not, would you?
Harriet continues to want attention, Peretz continues to be a cat-sniffing, bug-eyed freak. All a bit trying in the early AM.

Cool & gray, low thunder.

Last night, went to a dinner party, it was pretty OK. Took a lot of pictures of a pie.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Waiting for coffee to penetrate the higher centers, feeling annoyed about work things.

Blah, blah, blah.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Watched The Golden Compass & The Bourne Ultimatum, in the midst of that, ate more of the tasty food I made earlier. Quite enjoyed both movies, the first was better than I expected, the second worse. Took me away from myself a bit, always nice.

Anyway, back to myself now, feeling aggravated with phoniness, stupidity, etc., etc. It gets old, feeling aggravated.

Tired, could use a hug, might even get one.
Musing on the various senses of the word 'proxy'. It's a lovely word, often a lovely thing, there's a certain security in stand-ins of all sorts.

(Smiles pleasantly.)

Back from fetching L. from work, hopefully minor car issue, went by BJs to look for movies, didn't find any, wandered aimlessly through the aisles for a bit, feeling repatriated after a long time abroad.

Then we went & got some farmstand tomatoes.

Ended up getting a bunch of pre-viewed movies from an actual video store, pretty excited to watch them.

Got very sweaty on railroad track dog walk, just showered, am now drying under fan, head hurts a bit. Likely the changing air pressure.
Lazy afternoon watching alien invasion TV show, grazing on lentils with bacon, carrot cake that L. & I made yesterday. Guess who made which.

Could use a few weeks of this sort of activity.
Took the day off.

Spent the morning hanging out with dogs, washing dishes, making noodle kugel, rosemary chicken fingers.

Then L. came home & we had a nice lunch.

Yesterday turned out pretty swell, very much enjoyed the Cheshire Fair, even rode some rides. Went & played more Singstar at the H & O after.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Efforts are being made to reinforce my negative attitude, how exciting.

Should probably walk the dog & go do work.

Sort of wanted to go take photographs of the Cheshire Fair this weekend, maybe I'll go do that later.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Feeling ill, glum & irrelevant.

Have to do some work tomorrow, don't feel like it, don't feel like doing anything much.

Should probably go to sleep, may watch cartoons instead.
Seems like the slight prying open of the screen I managed earlier has enabled bat trapped in window to escape. Makes me happy, like to help trapped creatures escape, if possible, even if I'm the one who trapped them, especially if, actually.

Ha ha ha, tra la la.

Should get cracking on that life of Kierkegaard musical.
Sometimes the words just pour out of me, others each needs to be pried out at great cost. As with most things, cost has nothing to do with worth.

One of those second sorts of times, it's frustrating.

Stomach still hurts.
Went & saw the new Mummy flick, even dumber than I expected. After that, went for more roast corn & beer, then to the market for a few things. While at the store, started having pretty nasty stomach cramps, don't think the corn's to blame, more likely the rock 'n' roll lifestyle.

Ouch, ouch, ouch.
Day's starting very slow, just got around to walking the pups, also just started pouring, hurray.

A bunch of things I'd like to get done, don't see myself getting to many of them.

Another bat is now trapped between the window & screen of the window at the top of the stairs, when I tried to remove it bit & screamed at me, may just leave it there to die.

Need to get cigarettes & groceries.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Wow, long day.

Traffic got heavier & heavier as we approached the Cape. After dropping the kid off at the ferry, we went & sampled a couple different Falmouth area beaches. Time flies. Got some fried seafood at Barnacle Bill's, discovered I no longer care much for smelts. Drove home through lighter, but still unpleasantly heavy traffic, extremely dark out, lots of glare. Stopped briefly at an excessively busy gas station by the Wrentham outlet mall to refuel.

Damn glad to finally get home, dogs were damn glad to see us.

Went upstairs to put on pajamas, found another dead bat.
Here's me last weekend, all singing, all dancing:

Sorry about that.

Was so slow getting up this morning that I didn't manage to walk the pup. Somebody please walk the pup?

A lot of thinking that would otherwise end up on here is now being done on my daily commute. Sufficiently elaborated thoughts resemble nothing so much as no thoughts at all.
Didn't sleep very well, at least for once the turmoil was wholly external.

At some point, I guess, another bat got in the house, was too sleepy to get involved, dogs weren't. Would be interesting to know where these bats are coming from.

Have an upset stomach.

A little more work, then the week is done. We're going to take the kid back to his island home, then go swimming after, I think.